This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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