The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
