Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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