flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
