Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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