Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
