Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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