it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
