If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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