Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize