So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
