Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i believe in u and ur pee
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
