She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
