Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
