Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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