Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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