I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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