Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
