is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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