STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
