she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
