Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
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I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
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This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26