Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Don't forget I'm 20 now

(1-586): View more from Michigan

I liked you more when you were 19

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(586): Don't forget I'm 20 now (1-586): I liked you more when you were 19 http://tfl.nu/sj6s

Replies (1) Good night (779) Bad night (1008)
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(631): View more from New York

I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I don't want you to recite the pledge!

(631): View more from New York

Pledge alligien to america to united states of america

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(631): I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge. (401): I don't want you to recite the pledge! (631): Pledge alligien to america to united states of america http://tfl.nu/s7dx

Replies (20) Good night (3580) Bad night (768)
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(614): View more from Ohio

This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.

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(614): This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz (1-614): Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual. http://tfl.nu/85jo

Replies (16) Good night (1587) Bad night (526)
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(313): View more from Michigan

is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...

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(313): is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad... http://tfl.nu/md38

Replies (26) Good night (588) Bad night (4281)
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(770): View more from Georgia

separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.

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(770): separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles. http://tfl.nu/p09d

Replies (36) Good night (6296) Bad night (790)
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(716): View more from New York

He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.

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(716): He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER. http://tfl.nu/jf69

Replies (22) Good night (1020) Bad night (6972)
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(586): View more from Michigan

he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.

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(586): he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great. http://tfl.nu/bqct

Replies (12) Good night (1443) Bad night (3359)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster

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(419): You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster http://tfl.nu/810i

Replies (9) Good night (2670) Bad night (1060)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.

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(224): Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day. http://tfl.nu/yhb5

Replies (39) Good night (4368) Bad night (976)
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(618): View more from Illinois

She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed

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(618): She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed http://tfl.nu/19hm

Replies (9) Good night (1001) Bad night (1382)
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(407): View more from Florida

don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.

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(407): don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens. http://tfl.nu/cd1z

Replies (8) Good night (1820) Bad night (536)
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(513): View more from Ohio

It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike

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(513): It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike http://tfl.nu/56lf

Replies (6) Good night (397) Bad night (768)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center

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(404): Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center http://tfl.nu/qm46

Replies (7) Good night (1112) Bad night (436)
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(623): View more from Arizona

It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.

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(623): It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that. http://tfl.nu/i8dz

Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (242)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY

(618): View more from Illinois

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?

(952): View more from Minnesota

The D is nonnegotable.

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(952): FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY (618): CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3? (952): The D is nonnegotable. http://tfl.nu/i957

Replies (4) Good night (868) Bad night (232)

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