Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...

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(330): View more from Ohio

he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.

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(216): View more from Ohio

She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.

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(409): View more from Texas

We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus

(1-409): View more from Texas

How are you texting me from 1998?

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?

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(248): View more from Michigan

I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Eat your greens and take your tequila shots

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(607): View more from New York

This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.

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