omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.