Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(510): View more from California

We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(510): We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP. http://tfl.nu/sbka

Replies (14) Good night (1216) Bad night (668)
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.

(443): View more from Maryland

It breaks. We fall.

(443): View more from Maryland

I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in. (443): It breaks. We fall. (443): I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys? http://tfl.nu/201c

Replies (14) Good night (612) Bad night (3186)
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy? http://tfl.nu/hdnt

Replies (54) Good night (2363) Bad night (1203)
Favorite
(843): View more from South Carolina

He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(843): He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat. http://tfl.nu/b45i

Replies (29) Good night (5435) Bad night (983)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again http://tfl.nu/ne0q

Replies (23) Good night (1731) Bad night (7830)
Favorite
(510): View more from California

note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(510): note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast. http://tfl.nu/6g44

Replies (4) Good night (2456) Bad night (1101)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being. http://tfl.nu/247a

Replies (13) Good night (3795) Bad night (1483)
Favorite
(920): View more from Wisconsin

Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(920): Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp. http://tfl.nu/avvb

Replies (2) Good night (1531) Bad night (787)
Favorite
(626): View more from California

I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(626): I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there. http://tfl.nu/iwr8

Replies (4) Good night (1737) Bad night (730)
Favorite
(941): View more from Florida

oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(941): oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed. http://tfl.nu/cdno

Replies (5) Good night (1414) Bad night (591)
Favorite
(270): View more from Kentucky

it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(270): it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring. http://tfl.nu/qdw6

Replies (7) Good night (655) Bad night (1412)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick. http://tfl.nu/xvdr

Replies (10) Good night (1938) Bad night (651)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I pray for you bro.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place. (215): I pray for you bro. http://tfl.nu/qs2m

Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (748)
Favorite
(918): View more from Oklahoma

We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

I thank god almighty everyday

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(918): We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas (1-918): I thank god almighty everyday http://tfl.nu/mbi3

Replies (18) Good night (1732) Bad night (714)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl. http://tfl.nu/hntx

Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (938)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard