3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.