Where is the hickey?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
