I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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