I feel like abortions should bother me more
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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