Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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