Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
