i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
