my mouth tastes like poor choices
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My bed smells like the plague
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
