He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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