What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
