i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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