grandma shit on top of the toilet
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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