i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sorry about my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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