So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
