Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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