a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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