ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
