talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I cockslap morals
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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