Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
