id be glad to
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
