I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
