the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
