am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
