His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
