Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
