Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
