OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
