Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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