Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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