hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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