I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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