she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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