I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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