operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
