i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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